I am the new girl

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I need a girlfriend between the age of 18-19, she needs to have either colored hair or their natural hair needs to be darker than brown hair. They need clout and preferably should be really hot, and they need to laugh at every one of my jokes, even the not funny ones. They also need to have a juice ass, she also needs to be stable. Psychically and mentally . She needs to be a rock, she needs to stable enough to punch in the chest and be able to survive and withstand. She needs to be emotionally stabel enough for me to bully her reltenlessly and her be okay. She also needs to be a fan of the following youtubers Captian Sparkles, PewDiePie, MarkiePoo, Minecraft, JackieSepticEye , Jenna Marbles, JeffSwiper, Grandayy, Not Dolan Dark, and Dude Perfect. She needs to be my edgy weeb gf and be able to send me funny memes (but not from trashgram) and have at least 10k Karma, any less will be a disqualification. she also needs to be a fan of the harry Potter films but i haven't read the books so idk about them, she has to be in Griffendor (even though I am hufflepuff) and hate any slitheryn. She must also be less than 5'5 or I will step on her. I need her to hate anime but she needs to be a fan of the game Persona 5 but her only romance options should be Goth Doctor, if she choose Ann she gets a lethal injection

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I see what you did here Galt, you son of a bitch.