A Frugal Man’s guide to the CORONADEPRESSION

[Saz]

I’ve got nothing, I blow an incredible amount of money. Need tips on how to cut back without actually cutting back at all. I will start off with some general themes.

1. Internet/Cable - This appears to be a f**k ripoff. I’m basically paying 200 a month for internet and cable, and I watch like 6 channels. How to cut this bill? What is you have limited leverage because your ISP is a local f**k monopoly that can burn in hell with carol f**k bask in?! How much internet do you reasonably need to be a modern man in 2020? I have gigabit but that seems like overkill? Cheapskates and poors, please advise.

2. Cell phone - This also seems like a massive f**k scam. But they all seem expensive. I have att which is complete shit but T-Mobile doesn’t seem much cheaper and Verizon is even more expensive and I can’t swap sims for my various burner phones (don’t ask). Actually literal prepaid seems to be a way better deal from what I can tell, but I would need someone cheap to advise.

3. Cars - eh, I’m f**k here and lease German cars so I know I’m an ape and I’m fine with that for now. But I suspect das krauts may not have the edge in electrics. Please advise electric cars good value coming out in 1-3 years. Please comment on maintenance, cause that’s why I lease I don’t want to fix some overpriced bratwurst every 3 months when the warranty runs out.

4. Debts - I’m actually on top of this one, great time to refi whatever debts you may have. Pushing for a sub 3% mortgage (not quite there yet but may be soon) and have my student koans at literally 1%. Government is deferring all fed student loans until sept so don’t refi yet imo. Also should I look into a 20 or 15 yr mortgage? I overpay pine now basically at 20 year rate but 20 year mortgage isn’t much if any cheaper than 30.

5. Healthcare - HDHP and prayer brothers. IF YOU GET SICK PRAY ITS DAT CORONA AND U R COVERED.

6. Amazon - idk why but I blow an incredible amount on Amazon. Very bad and feminine habit. How to cut down. Should I get COSTO membership and do it big but only once a year?

7. Travel/vacation - credit card points not flame will basically pay flight and hotel for 1 maybe 2 trips a year. If you have kids f**k them send them to YMCA or Kumon or something and travel without them. Take them to free museums for culture.

8. Food - delivery is flame like 40% markup. I can’t even enjoy my food after getting raped like that. Groceries are actually cheap, cook at home. Not flame. If busy then order pickup. If to busy for that you should be making a ton of money at ur busy job so don’t need these tips. Fatties, just eat less. Bars are also scams, just get beers at grocery store and put in paper bag and drink in the park. Pregame if you are going out to score and don’t buy chicks drinks they aren’t gonna f**k u dorks.

9. Childcare - ???? No ideas here but for what childcare costs you could hire a live in Mexican nanny who would cook and clean as well.

10. Housing - Buy soon because BLACKSTONE and CERBERUS will be buying Your rental soon, jacking up the price, f**k you on sundays and then evicting you for a minor slip up. Downright feudal out there bros cop some property (0% down if you can swing it) and let it do what it do. Also good hedge against inflation which will come back with a vengeance... maybe not this crash but it will be back brothers.

[Kane]

[John Galt]

google fi charges per gig used so if you're not actually using your cell phone data since you're in your house it's pretty cheap. i think my friend said he was paying like 5 dollars for the last month

[Saz]

[Saz]

[exploited]

I've found that our spending has plummeted already, because we aren't going out to restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. Just making meals exclusively at home and not being able to party on weekends has saved us probably $800-1000 a month.

[Saz]

[Spider]

Don't worry about it. Recession canceled. Powell's money printing button got stuck in the on position.

[Stratego]

Get a Tesla Model X, and live in it. Don't need rent. You can keep the AC on all night. Drive to places where you want to travel to. Drive to places with free wifi. Get internet only sim cards and Skype unlimited US calls for additional $2.99/mo.

[Saz]