What We Learned About Rape Culture in 2014

[The Dharma Bum]

[nordictruce]

f**k rape culture. the only reason that rape culture doesn't get laughed out of every room is that men are scared to piss women off.

I"m going to tell a story. To get this out the way now, the girls name is kat. That’s her nickname and to get around not calling her by her real name, that's what I"m going to call her here.

I met kat through a girl I was dating in high school. Kat and I actually knew each other from an earlier summer camp that we both went to. To make a long story short so that I can get to the point, the girl broke up with me, kat started calling me more and more, we started hanging out, we even made out at one point. Then after I went into full chump turbo all star mode, she gave me the lets just be friends talk.

Me being a determined little f**k I am dammit I was gonna date this girl lol.l I picked her up from school every day. EVERYDAY. She was a senior and I was out of school. Everyday at 3:15 I was right there at her all girls school to take her ass home. Every once in a while we’d stop and get ice cream or something. Love notes, gifts, all this stuff. I tried it all. still persisted and she for what.. 8 months or so told SHE WASN’T INTERESTED in dating right now. I took her word only for her to find a guy and start dating him the night she met him. I was heart broken. I told her in so many words, hey I like you and if we arent dating there is no real reason to still talk to you. no hard feelings but i'm not going to pretend i don't like you.


So get bent she did and I moved on with my life. It was around a few weeks after this that my life changed in the most drastic way possible.. I ran into an old high school friend and we started hanging out and we were both techies and we started just building pc’s for shits and giggles and then one day I got the idea.. dude. Why don’t we like.. do this for a job lol. we both like to build very high end custom gaming rigs. So dammit off into the business world I went.

Now, I say the above to brag at all, but just to say, that when kat reached out to me, damn near 2 years to the day that I told her to get bent, a lot had changed in my life. When I met her I was a confused teen, 2 years later I was a young and budding entrepreneur. She happened to call me/contact me right at the time we started to really hit stuff in gear. How she sniffed out that timing to this day I don’t know. I had just bought a new car a week before I heard from her.


So obviously me being the meticulous guy I am, I develop this game plan to seek my revenge on her / get something out of the deal. Mind you at 20 I got all this figured out lol.


So anyway, we make contact, and she’s impressed with my business and stuff, we spend time together.. she calls me every night damn near , and slowly she sucks me back in. this entire time she is dating this guy who she met then, she still hasn't broken up with him, but she’s basically pre branch swinging. The guy had issues. First, he wasn't particularly good looking, his dad just happened to be loaded to the brim. Secondly, he had this bad habit of trying to kill himself. So every time he’d do this shit she would pop up at my house crying and we would talk about shit and hold hands and walk and stuff and I’m like yeah she’s about to branch swing yeah! This stuff goes on for what… 5-6 months. One day I basically took a day off work because I was 100% convinced she was ready to leave and I wanted to walk her through it. Of course she didn’t.


I would honestly say, at this point I was spending more tijme with her than her boyfriend was. She was over my house every other day. She knew where I worked would stop in and eat lunch with me. We went out all the time. We went shopping together. Sometimes she’d ask me to come over and watch a movie with her.. basically I was her boyfriend.. just without the *******s and **** lol.

The above is messed up how she played me, but what’s even more messed up, is not only did she not want to date me, not only despite the fact that now I was a budding superstar lol who ran this kick ass company and had a nice crib, had a nice social life, had a nice car, I had my stuff in order, that she still did not want to date me, but she didn't want anyone else to date me either. That was the worst part.


Like, I had done enough, I knew enough stuff here where I was doing cold approaches and getting numbers and stuff. And every time she thought she was in serious danger of losing my attention she’d up the ante. She’d spend the night. She’d buy me a present. This girl was cold blooded. One day I was going on a date with this very v ery cute blonde who I went to high school with and she calls me and tells me she has something she wants to talk to me about and me being head over heels for her dropped the date like abad habit, only for her to forget what she was going to say later that night. This shit went on for almost 2 years AFTER she re contacted me.

Even though however we aren't dating and I can’t date anyone else, everything else that boyfriends do I have to do that shit lol. I paid for a full year of her college. A FULL f**k YEAR OF COLLEGE. HOW DO YOU EVEN ASK A GUY YOU HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED TO PAY FOR A FULL YEAR OF COLLEGE BUT SHE DID THE SHIT AND I HAPPILY DID IT. I bought her and her mom a computer. I paid for a friend of her’s casket who died in a car accident. I'D TELL her i was going shopping and she would tag along and just point at shit and I would buy it. Spoiled f**k rotten. She'd give me just enough to make me think i was in play but never actually make a move.


One day, she invites herself to a strip club I'm going to and after getting drunk and gringing on me all in the club, she pretends to kiss me then laughes in my face and tells me "but you say he'sjust a friend" and is laughing at me and I got so pissed off i took her home and never called her again. That was the last straw.



This is my entire point. What If I took her that last night and pulled over in my car and sexually assaulted her in the car? She passed out on my bed white girl wasted, i tucked her in and slept on the couch. then whens he sobbered up took her home the next day. But what if I, at the time a 22-23 year old confused, and naive young man, takes it out on her? I would never do that, but what if I did?

I would not say she brought it on her self, but would you agree, tha she could have handled that entire ordeal better than she did? She knew she didn't want to date me why the hell are you spendign the night over my house when we are drinking and shit? Why are you putting my hand on your legs and making me rub your inner thigh while i'm driving if you are just teasing me? That shit pissed me off to no end.


my point in short is this; rape is bad. sexual assault is bad, but until someone says look women, treat men with respect and stop toying with them, stop f**k with them, be respectful women, i can't take the rape culture shit seriously. women today have a right reign to treat men like dog shit.

sure enough if my black ass so much as touched her while she was doing all that she would have played the 100% OMG victim look at me i'm a pretty white girl he raped me card.

[Winchester]

Holy shit, you just brought new meaning to kitty whipped without the kitty.

[Philly]

[The Comrade]

rape culture aka how confirmation bias on the internet confirmed to radical feminists that everyone is out to rape them.

[nordictruce]

Yeah she did me pretty bad. Honestly while I have forgiven her, I'm still not 100% over it. I don't trust women. at all.

[The Dharma Bum]

Yeah, well you were putting it pretty far out there it sounds like to me. Just because one woman took advantage of you when you put yourself in a vulnerable position on their behalf doesn't mean that women in general cannot be trusted.

Socrates supposedly said this about misanthropy:

"Misanthropy develops when without art one puts complete trust in somebody thinking the man absolutely true and sound and reliable and then a little later discovers him to be bad and unreliable ... and when it happens to someone often ... he ends up ... hating everyone."

If you change misanthropy to misosogyny and man to woman the statement sort of applies to the situation you described. It was a bad experience for you but I don't think you should let it define all of your future relationships with the women in your life.